Don't Help Me...Unless I Ask

It’s hard to believe what people do in the name of ‘helping’.  

I had to do some grocery shopping yesterday. Sadly, my only choice is Walmart. After all, this is Arkansas, home of Walmart.

I didn’t need much, but what I needed was from one end of the store to the other.  My scooter works well in Walmart. I can pull a small cart lined with canvas and put groceries in there.  If an aisle is too crowded and most of them are, either with stock yet to be shelved or old friends chatting in the aisles, or worst of all, some old guy who needs to stand across the aisle so he can see because he has needed new glasses since 1985. My old English teacher would not approve of that for a sentence?

At any rate, shopping was going well, most people were moving out of the way without a word from me. That was nice. Some needed an ‘excuse me’, some who on their phones needed a bit more prodding. Did you know lots of the people on phones don’t hold their phones. The phones are somehow attached to their heads, so it looks like they are talking to themselves. Used to be those people would be institutionalized, or at least on heavy duty medications.

A couple times, I needed to stand up to get something from the top shelf. Why oh why do they put the good stuff way up top?  I do pretty well standing up on my scooter, holding on to the handlebars and pushing myself up. 

Twice a well-meaning woman - two different ones - put her hand under my elbow and tried to help me up. I not only never expected that, but didn’t even see either one coming. Surprise on top of putting me off balance almost put both of us on the floor.  Can you imagine somebody coming up behind you, putting her hands on your elbow and pushing? 

“I was only trying to help.” I heard twice.  After the first time, I certainly never expected the second time. Hell, I had never had anyone try to help me up, let alone twice in one day. They both came at me from behind, scared the shit out of me. 

Please, people, we will ask for help if we need it. Don’t automatically help if we seem to be struggling. If we don’t have things under control, we will ask for help. Trust me.  Let’s don’t both go down in a pile and possibly hurt both of us.

Have You ever Noticed?

Have you ever noticed? Maybe not, I dunno.

While you are wheeling down the sidewalk and other people are approaching, we who need more room try to meet like cars do. We stick to the right side and the walkers stay on their right side. Just like a two lane road. Works pretty well. Even groups of people and in this town where it's mostly tourists do the same thing.

Most women will step aside if the sidewalk is not wide enough for everyone. Most men will keep right on walking and as if they never see the women riding in a chair. Funny, that. It’s not like we can’t be seen.  I have a bright red scooter and it’s not small. It’s about the biggest that can be bought short of a 4 wheel ATV. But evidently, men can’t see red. Maybe it’s because we are lower to the ground than they are and just don’t mean much to them. I am often tempted to increase my speed and cause them to need knee replacement surgery. Instead I come to a complete stop and wait to see what they will do.  Usually they will notice the obstruction in their way and walk around. Sometimes.

In grocery stores, exactly the same thing happens. In the wide aisles, men walk in the middle, never wavering, striding where they wish to go. Little old ladies, walking or not best get out of the way because men get to go where they want.  Matters  not the age of the man. He goes where he wishes and expects all others to move from his path.

Teens are like that too. Groups of teens are normally texting or on their phones and don’t see anything at all. They giggle, talk constantly and act like piles of puppies in the middle of their growing.  These groups are most likely to make nasty and rude remarks about anyone using a mobility device. Even use of a cane will engender some sort of bullying.  Makes ya wonder who brought up these bullies.

Down the aisles can be a nightmare.  Here we see young adult women with phones pressed to their ears. Often the phone cannot be seen. Or maybe they are just talking to themselves. Use to be we gave those folks medication to control those symptoms. Now they just attach a phone somewhere on their hair or neck and talk away. Usually they are telling someone where they are. Nonetheless they stand in aisles randomly throwing things in baskets and paying not a whit of attention to a huge red wheeled machine coming their way.

Men again….stand across the aisle and search for what they need. They won’t wear glasses for some reason, so they have to stand a very long ways from the peas if that’s what they were told to buy. Most likely they will return home and say, ‘The store was out of peas.”  Mainly tho, they are standing mid aisles - just standing and looking. At least they have no phones.  I have found the best way to handle this situation is to stop just short of whacking them and just sit there.  Or ask them what they need and just get it for them. Chances are they will never notice a huge red scooter in front of them.

Middle aged and older women will do everything they can to accommodate the scooter rider. Almost to a fault.

All in all, moving around with assistance in a grocery store brings problems others don’t even recognize or recognize just enough to sling bullying sneers your way.  Wonder if that will ever change. 

I’m glad Amazon delivers.