Who? Us?

We are two disabled, oldish women who have been adventuring through life for years. We are talking about how disabilities, both visible and not, change the way we enjoy our retirement.

Friday, October 9, 2015

Donna Speaks: Ignoring Fat Shaming Idiots

Fat, plump, stout, chubby, pudgy, flabby, heavy set, chunky, porcine, pudgy, obese... FAT!  It doesn't matter what "fat" label you get hung 'round your neck, the whispered judgement is always the same: "If she had some damned self-control...".  We know that's what lotsa "normal sized" people are thinking 'bout us, don't we?

Talk about a handicap!  Being a fat adult female can be one big ass handicap... If you let it.

I made it through grammar school and twice daily hell-on-wheels-bus rides. High school turned out to be pretty  much OK.  College years were, too.  (I've put my six plus years in the convent in a separate category.)  Then, after graduation, I had to face the "professional world.  Get a job...baadadadada.

Somehow marriage happened and during the early months my ex and I decided we'd try for a kid and I'd focus my attention on child rearing.    Three boys and seven years later, I decided it was time for me to go job hunting.  

I was having terrible migraine headaches and was referred to a headache clinic.  Part of this clinic was an interview with a psychiatrist.  During the interview, this man asked what my goals were and I shared that I was looking for a job.  With little hesitation, he looked at me and said, "No one will hire you... you're too fat."  No.  Really.  That's what he said... to my face, he said it, and casually added, "Stay at home and take care of your kids."  

No, I wasn't devastated.  Oh, yea, it hurt.  But this guy was an idiot and I got mad.  Very damned mad.  
I re-doubled my efforts to find a job and I found one.  A good job.  A job as a social worker, with good people, doing good things for the community.  I remember, driving to my first day of work, my radio on, Gloria Gaynor belts out her, "I Will Survive".  I sang with her, " As long as I know how to love I know I will survive...".  And thought, "curse that jackass... I showed him."

When you're handicapped, whatever that handicap might be, you just gotta ignore the idiots and use the anger created by their idiocy to motivate you.

BTW: The headache clinic was great.  I learned biofeedback.  I used (use) it, and my headaches went away.  The only remnants I have of the migraines are the auras.  Yes, I have auras, but no headaches.  A gift from my brain: A free light show.

Miss Althea, you have a good day now.

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