I know I talk a lot about language and communication, changes, meanings and how powerful words can be. But regional idioms can often say something powerful and so funny, you remember it for years. I love them, understand them, no matter where they came from and admire the person who thought them up.
When I was a freshman at Michigan State University, I had a philosophy prof say, “You won’t remember my name or anything else you learned in this class, but you will remember this: ‘Life is just one damned thing after another.’” That was 1959.
He was right.
I also heard at least that many years ago, “You are as indispensable as the hole left in the bucket of water when you take your hand out.”
That was also true.
Heard after moving south to Louisiana:
“He was so ugly, his parents had to tie pork chops around his neck to get the dogs to play with him.”
“I am so hungry if you put a cookie on my head, my tongue would beat my brains out to get to it.”
“He is so stupid, he couldn’t pound sand out of a boot with the directions written on the heel.”
"He could start an argument in an empty house."
"He's mad as a mule chewin' on bumblebees."
"He couldn't find his ass with both hands in his back pockets."
"He's about as useful as a steering wheel on a mule."
"He's so dumb, he could throw himself on the ground and miss."
"There's a tree stump in a Louisiana swamp with a higher IQ."
"Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit."
I love finding regional language. Seems as if folks can come up with the most colorful descriptions for everyday things. I know I sometimes don’t like language changing all that much, but regional speech enriches us all.
What are some idioms in your part of the country?