Who? Us?

We are two disabled, oldish women who have been adventuring through life for years. We are talking about how disabilities, both visible and not, change the way we enjoy our retirement.

Sunday, September 20, 2015

Don't Help Me...Unless I Ask

It’s hard to believe what people do in the name of ‘helping’.  

I had to do some grocery shopping yesterday. Sadly, my only choice is Walmart. After all, this is Arkansas, home of Walmart.

I didn’t need much, but what I needed was from one end of the store to the other.  My scooter works well in Walmart. I can pull a small cart lined with canvas and put groceries in there.  If an aisle is too crowded and most of them are, either with stock yet to be shelved or old friends chatting in the aisles, or worst of all, some old guy who needs to stand across the aisle so he can see because he has needed new glasses since 1985. My old English teacher would not approve of that for a sentence?

At any rate, shopping was going well, most people were moving out of the way without a word from me. That was nice. Some needed an ‘excuse me’, some who on their phones needed a bit more prodding. Did you know lots of the people on phones don’t hold their phones. The phones are somehow attached to their heads, so it looks like they are talking to themselves. Used to be those people would be institutionalized, or at least on heavy duty medications.

A couple times, I needed to stand up to get something from the top shelf. Why oh why do they put the good stuff way up top?  I do pretty well standing up on my scooter, holding on to the handlebars and pushing myself up. 

Twice a well-meaning woman - two different ones - put her hand under my elbow and tried to help me up. I not only never expected that, but didn’t even see either one coming. Surprise on top of putting me off balance almost put both of us on the floor.  Can you imagine somebody coming up behind you, putting her hands on your elbow and pushing? 

“I was only trying to help.” I heard twice.  After the first time, I certainly never expected the second time. Hell, I had never had anyone try to help me up, let alone twice in one day. They both came at me from behind, scared the shit out of me. 

Please, people, we will ask for help if we need it. Don’t automatically help if we seem to be struggling. If we don’t have things under control, we will ask for help. Trust me.  Let’s don’t both go down in a pile and possibly hurt both of us.

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